


To Forgive or to Forget

by MinilocIsland



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 12:01:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16912500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinilocIsland/pseuds/MinilocIsland
Summary: Not all memories are pleasant ones, but maybe, it can still be okay.





	To Forgive or to Forget

**Author's Note:**

> This fills the prompt "Winter Rain" for the Evakteket SKAMenger Hunt.  
> Thank you, H, Kit and Immy, for a fun first week! Looking forward to the next!

It’s raining as they get off the bus, just a thin drizzle at first. By the time they’ve found the narrow gravel road, it’s getting steadier, however – and when they’re in sight of the cabin it’s straight up pouring down. Soaking their hats and jeans, finding its way in through the small slivers between their gloves and jackets. Isak doesn’t even dare to think about the contents of his duffel bag if the rain has managed to soak in through the zipper – he’s fairly certain that he threw in his underwear last of all.

He sighs as they pass the small trail leading down to the cliffs on their left, grey, wet, and uninviting. 

“The door is to the left,” he says, as Even, a couple of steps ahead, turns right at the porch. 

Together, they find the pot under which Eva’s mum has hid the keys. Hands wet and stiff from cold, he finally manages to turn the key to let them in. Nobody’s been here since autumn break, and it’s barely warmer inside than out, the radiator by the door cold and silent.

“I told you, you should have taken your boots,” Even smiles, nodding at his soaked-through sneakers. As he steps out of them, the hall mat squelches. 

Isak sighs again as he tries to wiggle out of his jacket without letting his arms touch the wet fabric inside. “Yeah. Whatever.” 

He really doesn’t mean to lash out at Even – after all, he has nothing to do with this, quite the opposite – but this – this is weird.

Going here for New Year’s had sounded like a good idea at first. Great, even. A long weekend without work or looming exams, but no money. 

And it had been Eva’s idea. Even’s whole face had lit up when she’d suggested it at the Christmas day party she’d thrown at her house – and to be honest, Isak had no idea how to voice his inner queasiness. Not then, and not now.

So, here they are.

Even eyes him carefully. Maybe it’d be possible to just write it off as crankiness due to the weather, to the long bus ride, of not eating since breakfast. 

Or the fact that his teeth are actually chattering from cold.

“Why don’t you go take a warm shower,” Even says, lifting a hand to his cheek. “I’ll unpack, fix us something to eat.”

How Even can be so understanding when Isak deserves it the least, he has no idea. But at least, he knows to be thankful for it. So he just nods, and says “Yeah. Thank you.”

After five minutes of lukewarm water drizzling through the rusty shower head, he turns it off, barely warmer than before. The towel that he wraps around himself provides a small comfort, but he’s still shivering as he steps out in the hallway and into the kitchen, where Even is bent down, half-hidden behind the open door of the refrigerator. A couple of onions and tomatoes already chopped on a cutting board beside the stove.

“I’m just gonna make a quick stew, and –” Even folds himself up to his full length, red bell pepper in hand “– baby, you’re shaking.”

He puts the bell pepper down on the countertop, and in a few quick strides he’s in Isak’s space, enveloping him in a full-body hug. “Come,” he says, taking his hand, leading him to the bedroom.

And of course. Even’s made the bed in  _ that _ bedroom. It is the biggest one after all, so he shouldn’t be surprised, but –

He doesn’t know how to say it. So he doesn’t. Just follows Even’s lead, watches him undress down to his briefs and crawl under the covers, holding the duvet up to let Isak climb in.

He drops the damp towel to the floor before he burrows down beside him and lies down on his side, back turned towards Even, eyes half-closed. He has no idea how Even can be this warm already – his whole front plastered against Isak’s back, his big hand splayed across his chest, one leg draped over his thigh. His warm breath at the nape of Isak’s neck.

Slowly, warmth spreads through him, arms almost relaxing, something resembling contentedness tickling at his core. He exhales, and Even hums, pressing him closer, the tip of his nose burrowing into his hair.

“The last time I was in this room, I walked in on Jonas and Eva on purpose,” he says, suddenly, without really knowing why.

Even just moves his hand up to his shoulder, wedging his knee into the hollow of Isak’s, kissing his neck. “Okay,” he says. A moment’s silence between them. Waiting.

“I was so fucking jealous,” Isak continues, into the thin, cold air in front of him. “And I thought that maybe coming here would make me realize that I’m over all the stupid things I did back then, and well, I guess I should be, but – yeah.”

Even’s grip becomes even tighter. “Baby.” 

“I know I really should be,” he continues, a lump forming in his throat – how is he supposed to voice this to Even, when he can’t really explain it to himself? “It’s just – I don’t know. Weird. Like I’m another person now, but – I’m not?”

Even’s thumb draws a circle on his chest. “Yeah. I mean, it’s not like you’ll forget those things, right?”

“Right.” Isak laughs, short and colourless. 

The warm breath in his neck moves to his ear, Even drawing himself up on an elbow to come up and look at him. “All I’m saying is – it’s part of you, right? And I think – maybe, even if it feels really weird, or bad, it might still be... okay?”

Isak turns his head, looks up at him. Sees the hair falling over Even’s forehead, the blue of his eyes almost grey in the early afternoon dusk. “Okay?”

“Like – I mean. If you wanna talk about stupid things I’ve done, well –”

He wants to hit himself over the head. “I’m sorry – I didn’t –”

“Isak.” Even smiles, looking down at him with a fondness he doesn’t know how he’s earned. “It’s okay. All I’m saying is, if I’d go around regretting every stupid thing I’ve done and run away from it, I wouldn’t be here. With you. I mean, seeing how our first real date ended – I mean, I might as well tried to hide from you forever, and…”

Isak pauses. “Well. You did, in a way.”

“Yeah.” Even bites his lip, and then, he smiles. Tentatively at first, then wider, sharp teeth showing at the sides. “But you wouldn’t have it.”

Isak can’t help but smile back. “No. I wouldn’t.”

“You see.” Even traces his eyebrow with an index finger. “You’re far too stubborn to give in to that kind of bullshit. And smart.”

Isak sighs, part annoyed, and, on the other hand, quite content. “Maybe I am.”

Even burrows closer, lets his forehead fall down against his neck, and kisses the top of his shoulder. “Yeah. You are.”

The rain is beating against the window, and his toes are still cold, but it's okay. They’ll get warmer, in time.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on [tumblr](https://irazor.tumblr.com)!


End file.
